Why would anyone want to have anal sex?

For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Buttfucking makes itsound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical. In the 1990's, anal sexhas been given the bad rap because HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, ismost easily transmitted by anal intercourse.
But some peoplelove anal sex. Others hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious.And many people are attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo andmysterious.

What is analingus?

One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or havinglicked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvicregion and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Althoughwe haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here:the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in yourlower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach.Performing anilingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterialinfections. Refer to the section on safer sex techniques for ways to protectyourself if you or your partner enjoys this activity.

Does anal sex hurt?

Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enoughlubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sexas a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people maynever like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect theirlimits. Don't force the idea upon them.

Can anal sex actually give pleasure?

The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something"nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex. Doing somethingdifferent to spice up a sex life that has become something of a bore canbe part of it. And the physical sensations available during anal sex areuniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings,some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings whenstimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure.And for a thrusting penis, the ring of the anus can be a new and strongsensation to enjoy.

What do I need to have anal sex?

The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are:lubricants, condoms, and patience. The most commonly available lubricantis KY-Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at most drug stores.Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or ForePlay, some of whichare available at better drug stores, and most of which are available insome form at adult toy stores.
Do not buy anything that isoil-based. Make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom compatible."Nothing else will do. Oil- based lubricants such as vaseline or baby oilwill destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many oil-basedsub- stances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven formany potential infections.

Do I have to use a condom?

Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free,you should still use a condom. The rectum is home to lots of infectiousbacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will alsohelp you clean up afterwards.

I'm worried that anal sex will be messy.

Anal sex should not be messy. Most first-timers fear that it will be,but most people can tell when they have to go. A condom will help withcleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema,like Fleet, will help beforehand.

How do we prepare for anal sex?

Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal sex possible.Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex-- theanus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed tocontrol the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntarycontrol, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax,and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to recieve yourpenis.
Start with a well-lubricated fingeror a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic,but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slideone finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all theway out, then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used tothis kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how bigyour penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough.

What position should we use for anal sex?

For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many womenwant to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other liketo lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated whilelying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start.
As always, control yourself. Take yourtime and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "toomuch lube is almost enough." Listen to her-- if she tells you it startsto hurt, back off.
Eventually, a time will come duringyour lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of yourcock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feelcompletely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason tostart pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventuallyyou will both be ready for more.

Can I get pregnant from anal sex?

It is not technically possible to get pregnant from anal sex; thereis no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal tract.
However, anal sex is still not a verygood method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercoursemay drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulvaand anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failurerate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex asa method of birth control have babies each year.

What if I don't like it?

You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine. Nothingsays that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good.